no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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