i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
