1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My first STD was from a foam party
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Randomize
