Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
