i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
