In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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