The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
