Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
