there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
