i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
