fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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