i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
