He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
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apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
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All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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