we're blogging at a bar
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
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He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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