You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
