the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
