Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
dude. I can hear the air.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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