She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
