fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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