My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
