i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I will pee on everything he values.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
