that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
