what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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