Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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