I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
