Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i will never coherently bang her
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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