handjob tips. give me some.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
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I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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