why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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