Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
