I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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