I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize