You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
