i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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