i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
