i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize