Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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