Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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