But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
