I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
