Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
