apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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