Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize