I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
