Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize