'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
