marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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