Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
