READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
