Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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