Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
