What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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