it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
His nipple licking is glorious
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