Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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