Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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