he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
