wanna go halves on a baby?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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