and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
