Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
