Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
