oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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