If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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