Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
