You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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